It’s a busy ICU room. Lots of noise. Noise of health monitoring machine, noise of medical tools kept in tray and picked up, noise of doctor’s muffled talks and instructions. Suddenly all these came to rest by a long shrill monotonic beep of ECG machine, showing a single straight line.
Things became blur and sound became damped. But I still remember doctors shouting ‘CHARGE’-‘CLEAR’ ‘AGAIN’-‘CHARGE’-‘CLEAR’ ‘AGAIN’… Slowly everything faded into silence and peace. Every worry, every pain every promise dissolved into meaningless.
Later that day, I see people: family and friends. Father is angry as his dreams are broken. Mother, disappointed because the family tree ends here. And friends? they’re just trying to cope up with reality and to be strong. Standing outside the room, behind the glass they still look as stupid as they were the 1st day. With a sigh i tell myself “She’s late”. I looked around… even harder. “Yes, she is!” -I added.
But she wasn’t. She was just trying to skip family and friends, their questions and sympathy. Also, she was trying to tell that she is angry. She always did to have my attention and to mean ‘I Hate You!’
The body is being washed and prepared for funeral. I saw her peeping from behind the tree. Angry and pissed off. Valid, after all it’s her to-be husband lying there, lifeless. People were talking about the dead guy. Praising and how noble he was. LIES!!! Lifetime of lies and still they didn’t had enough?! Truth, is this girl. I lean to hear her… “LIAR!, COWARD!, WEAK!, BASTARD!… YOU! Yes, you are!!!”
Now what I’m going to tell ‘Ananya’ who her father was?!
Who I’m going to call at 3 a.m to ask “Do you love me”?!
Who’s going to come crossing 5 kms because I don’t want to walk 500 m alone to the shop-next-door?!
Who will tolerate all my madness and still look me in the eye and say “You’re beautiful”?!
Who’s gonna answer all my questions, all my “why’s when’s what’s who’s”?!
Who’s going to cry when I cry and laugh when I laugh?!
Who is going to carry me on back if I say I’m tired even if it’s you not me who’s tired?!
Who is going to take care of every detail in the world concerning me?!
Who’s gonna keep me like princess and love me like I’m the only girl in the world?!
And what I’m supposed to do when someone else touches me on the 1st night after marriage?!
TELL ME!!! You’re not going anywhere without answering me!!!
There were promises, trust, love. And they were for lifetime and you broke all!?! I HATE YOU!!!
I knew it! I-Knew-It! All this time. That you were more interested in that old hag than me!!! Go! Marry Her! And Die!!!
As I snap back to her, tears were rolling down my checks. And she was red & furious.
People lifted the body, load it in truck… It’s time to go!
And suddenly she was changed. I knew it, she has always been ‘The Drama Queen’ ‘The Attention Seeker’.
She started walking briskly towards the truck. “No, No. Please No. Stop! Jaan?! Please don’t go! I’m sorry!” She tripped and fell. She sat down on the wet pavement and behold the distorted reflections of her and the diminishing truck. She sat on pavement saying “I’m sorry… Honey, I love you so much… Please come back to me… Don’t go! Baby…?!”
I hugged her as tight as I could and kissed her as much I would, just the way I always did whenever she has to go. She looked at me as if looking straight into my eyes. I whispered into her ears “Ta-Ta Pucchu. Take Care.” I can’t wait anymore my time is over… She’s slipping out of my hand. My body aches for her. With “I love you Meow… Stay Safe & Stay beautiful” I sign off from her.
Filling the wet pavement, trees around and my broken love in my eyes as much as possible. I had to leave her; crying… Quietly I waved my last adieu!
[The words you’ve been saying all your life, It’s funny how people start listening when you’re dead!]